90 ChIcK

Love this look. Want to work on bringing it back.

actions & omissions

"the world turns on our every action, and our every omission, whether we know it or not"- a quote from the book I just finished, "Cutting For Stone" by Abraham Verghese

aw- inspiring

Another song that makes me climb mountains and conquer the world. LISTEN. P.S for some reason I cannot put the link into the post but the song is Paradise by the Bodeans.

a REVOlution

Tracy Chapman- "Talking About A Revolution" THIS SONG. It inspires me. It makes me want to get out and explore and just keep running because ultimately all paths lead home. Yet, here I am....at home, "sitting around waiting for a promotion". Maybe the tables only begin to turn, as Tracy sings, when you get out of anything that is comfortable. That is problem. Since graduating I have stayed comfortable and even in some ways, reverberated back to childhood when what I need is to get out- Break the chains. I want to rise up and get places, but it all takes time. I often get stuck on the thinking the life I should be living or ultimately the life that I want to be living. I think for example, I should be climbing the corporate ladder per say and "living up my 20's" living in a concrete jungle. And in a way it is what I want, but when else can I get out? And not just get out by moving to NY, Chicago, SF (my dream), but really get out. Maybe really getting out will put me where I want to be. food for thought.

spinning

Do you ever have moments where you heartbreaking-ly miss everyone? Its so overwhelming. I am laying here thinking about all my friends, all my memories. How I miss so so may people, so many people I love. It is truly crazy how quick time passes; TIME FLIES, as you hear many people young and old say. AND here I am. feeling like everything is rapidly spinning, spinning so fast. I want to live with all my friends, I want to see them and to make more memories. To come home from a long day at work and too drown a bottle of wine laughing on the couch. To go out on the weekends and to make out with this boy or that boy and to tell your friends about it the next morning. To be 22 but act as if we are 16 when it comes to boys and love. To swallow every last message. Maybe you can always be youthful in some way and maybe it truly involves just letting the world spin but knowing what bring you down to Earth; knowing what holds you still while everything is spinning.

DONT COMPROMISE YOURSELF, YOU ARE ALL YOU'VE GOT - JANIS JOPLIN

if you were blind what would beauty mean to you?

I am I am wholeheartedly myself. Isn't that the most powerful ting ultimately

someone who doesn't matter can't bring you down-ME

What do I know about love? Not much. I know I thought I loved my best friend who turned out to be gay.  Then, I loved two guys at once and not many people can say that, but I did.  I loved them both but for such different reasons. I felt one way with one and a completely other way with the other.  In the end though, I never chose and so I lost them both. That’s a glimpse into how love works, love doesn’t wait; people can only be walked over for so long. After loosing them both and getting over all the mess, I fell for someone new. People thought it was a rebound, but I fell.  That was a beautiful thing, to fall, naturally and just with one person. That ended though because we were at different places.  It was the first lesson I learned in love in regards to how love does not conquer time and space.  People can love but be in different places, physically and mentally. Then I never thought I would love again. I wanted a break, I wanted to be single and I was for a year and a half and I loved it.  It was freeing. I dealt with my insecurities, my worries, my triumphs all by myself.  Then the summer before senior year, I fell again. Probably harder than I ever had; part of me thought and actually believed he was the one. I guess for the first time ever you could say I was invested. I never thought I would do long distance, but I did. I never thought that our relationship would disintegrate before my eyes, but it did. That’s how love works though I’ve learned. It comes and it goes, it ebbs and it flows. 

Santa Fe Dreamin'

All are unedited meaning the the light is all natural.

Panoramas

the gyno

            This past week I went to the gynecologist. THE dreaded gyno. Yes, the old man who checks my ovaries and touches my breasts. Yes, the same man who gave birth to me.  It is overall an uncomfortable situation and one that I do not particularly enjoy.  Indeed it does not aid the situation that the appointment falls annually around my birthday; 19, 20, 21, 22.  To be honest, I don’t know if the hangover helps or hurts the situation; my thoughts on the matter change annually.  At 21, I remember thinking that the pounding in my head and my mismatched hangover outfit made be bold and invincible to the uncomfortable-ness. Let me just say, it was not the same this year. At 22, I felt old and awkward.  

            Once can only imagine how I felt sitting naked under what is practically a cheap table cloth for a second grade birthday party where, undoubtedly boys and girls spill gallons of apple juice.   While feeling all this, sitting in the  waiting room I was given (after being weighed; which no female under the age of 30 enjoys) twiddling my thumbs trying to prepare myself for what I knew was about to happen. The small talk, the cold hands, the personal questions.  I felt terrible and I only felt worse when I glanced to my right and there at eye level was a framed image of a baby in a womb. A happy baby? potentially implying a happy mom? A happy family? It was all too much. And then it was over. 

some tooonz

You Won't-Television


Recently discovered and cannot stop listening.

California GEMS

Taken by me on a disposable.

and some more.

Road Trippin'

Here are some photos that capture a quintessential cross-country road trip.  These photos were taken by me on a disposable and capture the road trip my brother and I took from Ohio back to California with a prius-load or rather a prius-crammed of stuff.  It was quite the adventure.

WELCOME WELCOME!

Well, seeing as this is my first post, let me give you all an introduction.  I am Catherine, often referred to as Cath (without the Y).  I just graduated from Denison University in Ohio (yes, cold & dreary Ohio) and am thrilled to be back in my homeland- California. This is a place in which I am hoping to not only share my thoughts, interests, pictures, and creations but for me as well to to get in touch with my creative side. So, it is a win-win. Welcome!